Size Matters

Emmett had his 4 month appointment yesterday. The night before the visit, I dreamed that we had a very fat girl baby with wild hair. I was embarrassed by how she looked. Obviously this dream reflected anxiety about how I appear by virtue of the baby (who has wild hair?). Despite the fact that babies cannot be too fat, I have internalized cultural anxieties about size. The first thing EVERYONE says when they see him is that he is so big and looks to be much older than he is. Indeed, in mum n' baby yoga, he is bigger than older babies. I spent the end of the pregnancy constantly worrying about how big I was, but, of course, rationally I know that his size is a good sign, an indication of thriving. Also, I think he is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. So the anxiety is largely a subconscious one, erupting in dreams, and reflected in my fear that we overfeed him. He eats much more than the baby books say to expect. It is not uncommon for him to consume 40 oz. of breast milk in 24 hours (though he also spits up about 20 times per day). Luckily, I am making more than he eats every day (thanks to Fenugreek)! Anyway, here are the stats for our big, beautiful bear.
Length: just shy of 69 cm/ 17 inches (97th%)
Weight: 7.8 k/ 17 pounds (90th%) (but 50th% for his height... though I can't imagine his thighs being any bigger!)
Head: 44.4 cm/ 17 in (90th%)

Growing Baby

The baby keeps getting bigger and bigger. I know that statement is incredibly banal. It reminds me of that excellent line from Juno that went something like, I learned in health class that pregnancy can often lead to a baby. We have had some very difficult nights sleep-wise these days. But it is totally unpredictable: last night he slept for 6 hours; a few nights ago he slept about 2 1/2 and then proceeded to wake every 60-90 minutes. Maybe it is a "poussée de croissance," or a famous growth spurt. Though I fear that, whenever things suck, the default explanation is growth spurt. Then again, maybe it is default for a reason, since, as I noted, he is growing. I have to relieve Will right now. He wants to write an article and I tend to blog and watch "True Blood" these days in my free time. I have started to return to the intellectual labor, too, these days, merci de le bébé sitter!

Still Trying

to get non-blurry smile pics. These are mostly out of focus.

Three Months

Emmett is becoming more fun to spend time with every day. He may not breastfeed, sleep through the night, or keep his food down, but all can be forgotten when he wakes up smiling. He loves being an airplane, playing in the jumperoo and (sometimes) his floor gym. He is very keen on exercising his new powers. He wants to lift his head during tummy time, try to stand, and grab onto things and put them in his mouth. He also seems to get cuter every day.